When You Lose, Don’t Lose the Lesson
By Mind & Muscle Academy. Newsletter nº41 ; 13/06/2025
Hey everyone,
Let’s talk about something that stings: losing.
You train hard. You study for hours. You show up confident… and then things fall apart.
You blank out in an exam. You miss the shot. You freeze mid-presentation.
Now what?
If your first instinct is to sulk, overthink, and write a dramatic mental monologue about how you’ve failed forever — congratulations, you're human.
But let’s pause.
That feeling? That disappointment? That punch to the gut? That’s energy.
And you get to choose what to do with it.
You can let it weigh you down.
Or — you can use it to fuel your comeback.
What’s In This Week’s Article?
Losses Aren’t Dead Ends. They’re Detours.
How to Bounce Back Like You Mean It
1. Losses Aren’t Dead Ends. They’re Detours.
A study from Psychology of Sport and Exercise found out that those who reflected intentionally on their losses, instead of avoiding them, had greater increases in self-compassion, decreases in self-criticism and fear of self-compassion, and greater improvements in perceived performance.
This means that athletes who looked back on their performance not only improved their performance faster — they were also mentally tougher in the long run.1
They didn’t win because they failed.
They won because they learned from their failure.
Same goes for school. Same goes for life.
P.S. Check out this older article on “Overcoming the Fear of Failure” !
2. How to Bounce Back Like You Mean It
🔁 Stop the Spiral
“I failed, so I’m a failure” is lazy logic. Say this instead:
“I didn’t do well this time. What can I do better next time?”
📓 Write It Out
Take 5 minutes. What went wrong? Be honest, not harsh.
Not enough revision? Poor sleep? Wrong strategy? This is your map.
🎯 One Change, Not Ten
Don’t overhaul your life overnight. Pick one action:
Sleep 30 minutes earlier
Try active recall instead of rereading
Actually time yourself in practice exams
One small change = real momentum.
⚡ Use the Fire
Disappointed? Good. That means you care. Channel it. Train smarter. Study harder. Focus deeper.
Let it sharpen you — not stop you.
Final Words
You’re not defined by one bad day, one missed shot, or one exam that went sideways.
You’re defined by what you do after.
So next time you lose?
Don’t lose the lesson.
You’ve got more in you. Let’s go.
Stay tuned for more tips, stories, and advice in our upcoming newsletters, and feel free to check out the last editions!
As always, I’m open to new ideas or suggestions you may have, so feel free to leave a comment, and ask any questions! I’d be glad to help!
Thank you all for joining me today, and I wish you a pleasant rest of your day.
Quote of the Day:
Best regards,
Ruben
Founder, Mind & Muscle Academy
Kuchar, Ashley L., et al. ‘Resilience and Enhancement in Sport, Exercise, & Training (RESET): A Brief Self-Compassion Intervention with NCAA Student-Athletes’. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, vol. 67, July 2023, p. 102426. ScienceDirect, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2023.102426.