The Day You Stop Waiting for Permission

By Mind & Muscle Academy. Newsletter nº40 ; 06/06/2025

Jun 06, 2025

Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a friend recently. We were talking about something you don’t expect teenagers to think about: midlife crises.

But here’s the thing - those “crises” aren’t just about age. They’re about identity. About realising you’ve spent so long chasing validation, chasing goals someone else set, or trying to please everyone but yourself… that you’ve forgotten who you are.

Then my friend said something that hit like a lightning bolt:

“At some point, you realise no one’s coming to fix your life. You have to do it yourself. You have to be the one that takes the difficult decisions.”

And that’s what this newsletter is about.

Because you don’t need to be 45 and tired of your job to feel lost. You can be 15, 18, 21 - and still feel like you’re waiting for someone to say:
“You're good enough now. You can start now. You’re allowed.”

Here’s the truth: you are.
And the sooner you stop waiting for permission, the faster you start becoming unstoppable.

What’s In This Week’s Article?

External validation = Trap
Self-Sufficiency Is Strength In Disguise
How To Start Choosing Yourself This Week
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1. External validation = Trap

Let’s break it down: the brain is wired for approval.

Neuroscientists have shown that social validation lights up the same reward centres in the brain as food and money. (Yes - getting a compliment activates the ventral striatum, the brain’s reward hotspot.)

But here’s the catch: it’s addictive. And it’s unreliable.

If you build your self-worth on what others think, you’re handing them the remote control to your mood, your focus, your confidence. One bad comment, one ignored message, one day of feeling invisible - and boom, you crash.

That’s no way to live.
That’s not freedom. That’s not power. That’s not you.

2. Self-Sufficiency Is Strength In Disguise

Here’s what real strength looks like:

Doing the workout when no one sees it.
Studying when no one’s clapping.
Pushing through discomfort when there are no instant results.
Choosing discipline over attention.

This kind of independence isn’t just “cool,” it’s scientifically proven to build resilience. Studies show that individuals with a strong internal locus of control (those who believe they can shape their own outcomes) are more motivated, better handle stress, and perform more effectively academically and athletically.

In other words: the more you believe you’re in charge, the more in charge you actually become.

3. How To Start Choosing Yourself This Week

Let’s keep it practical. Here are 3 ways to become more self-sufficient - and build your own approval loop:

A. Create Before You Consume

Start your day with something you build - training, journaling, planning, reflecting - before you check your phone or scroll through anyone else's story. Protect your mental space.

B. Measure Effort, Not Applause

Instead of asking, “Was I good enough today?” try asking:

“Did I keep my promise to myself today?”

That’s what matters. Consistency builds identity.

C. Rehearse Solitude

This one’s underrated. Spend 10 minutes a day alone, without distractions. No music, no screens. Just you, your thoughts, and silence.
If you’re uncomfortable being alone with your mind, that’s the exact signal you need to work on it. Confidence comes from knowing you’ve got your own back - always.

P.S. Check out last week’s newsletter to learn more about the benefits of doing nothing!

The Power of Doing Nothing

Mind & Muscle Academy

May 30

Read full story

Final thought:

You don’t need a teacher’s approval, a coach’s praise, or your follower count to tell you you're doing well.

You don’t need the world to choose you.
You just need to choose yourself.

No one’s going to hand you your future. It’s yours to take.
So stop waiting at the red light.

The green one’s been inside you the whole time.

Thanks for reading Mind & Muscle Academy! Did this post bring you something? Then it probably will to someone else as well! So don’t hesitate to share!

Stay tuned for more tips, stories, and advice in our upcoming newsletters, and feel free to check out the last editions!